Was it all a dream? I'd woken in my flat with an alarm clock I didn't own ringing out to alert people to the fact it had reached 3.16am and the pillow was dripping with sweat and I had haunting dim recollections of Triple C induced nightmares but across the floor was a memory, the magazine featuring Harumi Nemoto lay across the floor. Her jumper bumpers looked magnificent but someone had scrawled 'Player's Club, isn't it?' across every page in what looked like green poster paint and I knew this was triggering a memory inside me but I didn't know what so I dropped two robitussin and hit the shower to clear the webs and find the memory then I saw the bathroom mirror was covered in marker pen which said 'Louis Vuitton fun bags' and the shower didn't help but the robitussin hit and I drifted off on the bed and I remembered I had seen the club in Fujisawa but before I could move I blacked out. I woke up and my furniture wasn't in the same place anymore and the TV was on but I never switched it on and it was playing 'River Deep, Mountain High' over a montage of Herumi Nemoto in swimsuits and I watched it for hours but it seemed like minutes as I was zoned then I remembered the club and decided I had to visit but when I opened my wardrobe to get dressed there was only one outfit and the t-shirt said 'sumptuous sweater sashimi' and I didn't remember buying it but I put it on anyway and then set out to the club but not before I washed two more robitussin down with a bottle of Cola.....

After opening the door and being hit with bright morning sunlight I realised that I couldn't walk to the station and decided to catch the bus but first I checked the mail and it was full of postcards from Tahiti written in what looked like Korean... Id been receiving these postcards for weeks, each with a different image of a sun drenched crystal sand beach, I resolved to get them translated and stuffed them in my pocket. The bus arrived in seconds and I got on but it was strangely empty for rush hour and all the adverts had been replaced by pictures of Harumi Nemoto and the air conditioner was on full even though it was a cool day and as I stared out the window we passed a store called 'jubbly jubble jugs' and I smirked but when I turned around the bus was now not empty, a kindergarten child had just got on and was eyeing up the seats and I began to panic as she calmly walked to me and chose to sit on the seat next to me and I began to sweat and struggled to find some robitussin in my pocket when the girl whispered 'calm down' in perfect English, she carried on whispering 'you're looking for it aren't you, you're going the right way.' I turned to ask a question but the girl had disappeared and the panic eased and out the window we passed a row of posters featuring Harumi Nemoto and someone had scrawled 'meaty mammaries' across them in marker pen but I didn't notice as I was so zoned, I didn't even notice when the bus pulled into the station but in the distance I saw the kindergarten girl skipping up the stairs towards Ofuna station so I dropped two Nodoze and gave chase....

RantJapan Dekapai Pt1.